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I have a confession. I’m a recluse. A hopeless writer geek clicking away at the keyboard most days, oblivious to the world. So it makes perfect sense that I live and work on an island.
I’ll never be a world-class speaker. Speech class was for me the equivalent of Chinese water torture. In fifth grade I gave my lame, over-rehearsed “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” talk to a group of rowdy, pre-hormonal 10-year-olds, including Stewart Granger, who sat in the front row and pretended to pick his nose every time I looked his way.
I had no sooner opened my mouth that day when my fidgeting fingers managed to send the erasers on the chalkboard ledge flying in a cloud of dust. I choked on my words. Literally. The classroom exploded, kids falling off their chairs, all of them laughing at me.
Over the years, things didn’t exactly get better. If anything, my abilities to entertain, heck, to communicate in any kind of oral fashion, deteriorated. I kept my nose stuck in books more and more, avoiding the painful, awkward conversations. I was a geek.
But geeks have no business starting businesses. Well, maybe except for Bill of Microsoft fame. But even he knows how to speak, how to work the crowd.
To be a success in business, you have to get out there. Tell your story. Give your best 5th grader’s speech— in front of the whole class.
Along Came Web 2.0
In my eyes, Web 2.0 was the most noteworthy invention since Magnetic Scrabble. I could actually take my time, think first, then carefully compose an email or blog post or forum comment. It was really still one-way communication. But it felt two-way. Write. Click send. Get an answer. Write. Click send again.
I found myself spending hours at the keyboard, connected to no other living being except my 15-pound white, odd-eyed cat. I didn’t need people in real time. They could always be conjured up on the screen—as one of my favorite bloggers, Sonia Simone, says, like imaginary friends who live in the typewriter.
Take my pal in Portland. We e-mail, trade forum comments, post on each other’s blogs. I know what he looks like. Well, sort of. His profile picture is an avatar, so I might not recognize him if I passed him on the street. Still, I know him. I really do. We’ve just never met.
The Day That Was Different
This past Wednesday, I stepped out of my virtual comfort zone. Something came over me. I had decided to not just attend, but host, a business networking event. Six people who Bob, my husband and biz partner, and I met through a business networking site —hey, that’s a crowd to me— took the ferry over to the island.
We secured a large vacation rental home and the eight of us had unstructured social time (gasp), lunch, a silly game, basically a kick-back day. We chatted about the mundane, drank coffee, ate way too much salmon and pasta salad. Gorged ourselves on homemade chocolates and lemon cake.
Conversations took place in real time. I saw the grins, heard the laughs, rather than reading emoticons on a screen. Somehow it was more real, more natural than I thought it could be.
If Relationship Marketing is all about making deep, meaningful connections with people, we are all now RM experts. There is nothing like finding out through a silly game that something you did—travel to third-world West Africa to help children in need—is another person’s life wish.
Or that someone you knew as a graphic designer can belt out an aria that would have brought Maria Callas to tears. Or that someone else visited Beijing but would really like to live there for a year.
One Day, Eight People, and An Island in Puget Sound
Some would say that spending the good part of the day networking with a half a dozen people is crazy, in this day of globally reaching social media. I’m not so sure. I found that the more we got to know each other, the more we found common ground.
Some of us struck up partnerships and explored collaborative projects that might never have happened. And we all left with the feeling that we knew, liked and trusted each other. Not bad for one day and eight people, on an island in Puget Sound.
Later that evening I started getting the messages. “I LOVED THE COCONUT CHOCOLATES” (online way to express excitement?) and “…add my name to the FRIBTEs…” (Folks Really Impressed By This Event), and “Great fun. = D” But somehow I wished they were still here and I could talk to them, see their faces, hear their compliments. Not a bad wish for a recluse.
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I completely agree! When's the next one so I can plan on crossing Snoqualamie?????? Face to face is always my preference!
Thanks, DeBorah!
Will let you know when the next "island event" is on the map. Would you REALLY cross the mountains for it? We would be honored.
I love online community, but face to face is just a completely different animal. There's no way to quite reproduce that amazing feeling you have when someone tells the perfect joke and you all laugh until your sides hurt, because you *get* each other. Fantastic stuff.
You're so smart to host the event–that's a great technique for shy folks like us. It gives us something to do so we don't send the erasers flying with our fidgets.
Wow, Sonia.
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment!
I think that was the cool part of the experience—there were a few "perfect stories" that had us falling off our chairs.
And we played a game called "Two Truths and a Wish." We each had to make three statements about ourselves: two true and one we wish we could do or would have done. We had to guess which one was the wish. What a way to get to know someone, I mean really know them. So much richer and deeper than "elevator speeches."
All in all, a very cool day.
Hi Judy – sounds like your event was a success! Congratulations! I know you were worried earlier that week about the weather, but who needs weather when you meet new friends.
We are so similar. For the past 6 months, I’ve been trying to build my business by online networking, emailing, etc. I too love to write and could sit here all day connecting.
Over the past month, I’ve joined the Chamber of Commerce which is very active. They have several activities every month. I signed up for one a week.
The first event was an after hours gathering. Nothing like going to the party without a friend, right. I gathered my courage and walked in with a smile (and an agreement with myself that if it was too bad I could leave saying my dog was sick.)
No need to use the excuse. I had a magical time, meeting engaging people. I built one relationship that has led to being a guest at another networking event and co-sponsoring a booth at the local Business Expo.
The long and short of it is none of this would have happened from my computer. I need to get out and meet people. When I get back to Seattle for a visit, we need to get together for coffee!
Jen,
Thanks for stopping by. In this online world of ours, and especially if we are writers at our core, the longer we stay away from face-to-face, the more intimidating it can be.
Glad you enjoyed your Chamber event. You know, I'm not always in top form at Chamber events. Maybe it's because in this area, you're more likely to run into Boeing and IKEA and other huge companies. As solopreneurs, we can't always relate to them.
Please do give me a call when you are in the Seattle area!
I was one of the lucky attendees of the Island Event. It really was special a day and one of the main reasons is because of you Judy.
I understand that when you are simply more inclined to communicate on-line that hosting a group of whacky folks can be daunting, but you really came out of your shell for us. The problem now becomes "how are we going to get Judy to come out more often?"
You have a special gift with words and you should not only write for but speak to the masses.
…and yes the coconut chocolates were heaven.
Elizabeth,
Thanks for stopping by. Your words made my day!
I do find that, although I dread putting myself out there, when I do, it is such fun. And the people who joined us were all crazy (I say that in the very best definition of craziness), so it wasn't hard to "come out," as you say.
Next time, we should do a winter island event so we can all cozy up by the fire!