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Have you ever been on a school playground with a bunch of first graders?
If you have, you probably noticed something right away.
Six-year-olds are social creatures but they have not yet learned to settle their differences without adult intervention.
I was a first grade teacher in one of my former lives.
There was a certain pattern of behavior at recess time. One kid would break a playground rule and another kid would run up and, with that acute sense of justice only 6-year-olds have, blow the whistle on him.
It happened over and over again.
And the line before me would grow longer as they waited for their turn to spill the dirt on someone.
About the third year of teaching (I was a reasonably patient person), this finger pointing started to get to me.
“Joey took my four-square ball away!”
“Grace pushed me off the climbing bars!”
“Jill cut in line!”
I started to dread it every time I was on playground duty.
I became the police. Writing tickets. Scolding kids. Letting them off with a warning if they promised not to do it again.
Recess was hell.
Until I got an idea
One day I came up with an ingenious rule.
It was brilliant.
I called my students over to the carpet for a ‘class talk’. They sat in a circle, cross-legged, curious looks on their faces.
“We have a new rule on the playground,” I said.
“Starting today, if you want to report something bad someone did at recess, that’s perfectly okay.”
I paused.
“But first, you have to say something good. Something you like about them.”
They nodded their heads solemnly. And they went back to their seats, back to our math lesson on place value.
Fast forward to the playground, the next day
The test came the very next day at morning recess. Josh was the first kid to run up to me, all red-faced. He looked at me, brows all furrowed, his mouth a hyphen.
“Nate hit me in the—”
“Wait,” I said. “Remember? I need to hear one good thing about Nate first.”
I smiled and thought, I have him now.
He looked across the playfield, then back at me.
“But—”
“Just one good thing. Then you can tell me the bad thing.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He frowned. We were knee deep in silence.
He looked down and scuffed the toes of his shoe on the pavement.
“Well…uh…Oh…” Another long pause as he turned things over in his mind.
He let out a big sigh.
“Never mind!”
And he ran back to the group of boys across the playground.
From that day on, the tide turned.
Why?
Because those first graders had discovered something. It’s easier to point out what someone is doing wrong than to see what they are doing right.
It is human nature to notice the bad in someone more often than we notice the good.
We are happy with the service at our local restaurant in 99 percent of our visits. Sometimes we are beyond happy.
Yet we never find the manager and say, “Our server was incredibly responsive to us. He delivered our meal exactly the way we ordered it. And he knew we didn’t have much time, so he made sure it was ready when we needed it.”
But that one time we are treated poorly?
Yeah, we want to talk about it, maybe complain to the owner. Or tell all our friends.
So what does this have to do with blogging?
Well, it’s just that many, many bloggers are writing beautiful posts, ones that educate us, engage us, entertain us. But they write in obscurity. And sometimes they wonder if it’s even worth it.
We consume their posts. We enjoy them.
But, like those first graders, we don’t take the time to recognize the good they are doing.
We get busy. We read the post. We meant to comment, but we got distracted by the pinging of the messages in our inbox. Or the phone rang. Or we had to check Facebook one more time.
So, what would happen if, out of the blue, we told them how much we appreciate them?
If we took the time to comment on their blog with a short remark about what we took away from their post?
Or sent them a personal email?
If we tweeted about it with a positive, concrete comment and a link to their post?
We just may make someone’s day.
What about you?
Do you ever get personal messages from your readers?
Do you have a favorite blog that could use some extra love this week?
Tell us who—and why. And, please, leave a link so we can visit and join the conversation there.
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Judy, I love your story in this post. I worked with Grade ‘Oners’ too, but only for a few years, and kept my sanity intact (barely hehe).
I consider myself very fortunate to have met a few great bloggers whom I didn’t know about before and now follow quite enthusiastically, thanks to your recent guest blogging contest.
I’m particularly smitten with photographer and graphic designer par excellence, Brenda Gottsabend, and her wonderful blog, How to Feather an Empty Nest: http://www.gottgraphicsdesign.com/2011/06/28/the-color-complement/.
I love the way she ‘sees’ things around her and delivers technical tips on how to enhance photos with Adobe Photoshop, as well as posting beautiful architectural art photos with thoughtful stories on how they came to be – truly a feast for the eyes. Her posts are full of wonderful observations into a deeper way of being and seeing that I truly appreciate.
What a wonderful illustration here Judy. I love the way you draw me in as reader, as if I was standing watching the whole scene play out. Love that about your writing.
And, I appreciate the call to action as well. I was just thinking as I read someone’s blog today that it was interesting they didn’t have any comments. And when I looked back in the blog, they get few comments – ever. Yet they provide really strong information to their audience. I happen to know this person gets good readership as well. So, why no comments?
I thought immediately of you and put the blog through what I am calling the CatsEyeTest. (you can market that if you want.) Anyway back to my test.
1. There is a consistent missing link – the author doesn’t ask for comments.
2. Blogs tend to be very pitchy, look at me and my people and how wonderful we are in every post. Good content sprinkled in the pitch vs. pitch sparingly placed over a FEW posts.
3. Lacking good story telling. I get ‘ah, that’s interesting’ or ‘hmm, something to consider’ but never – drawn in to imagining the expressions on the little boys face and whether his shoes were tied or not.
4. No Pictures to put the dot on the exclamation point – just on the question mark. I like images and a good blog to me combines story telling with a picture to drive their point home. If the content doesn’t get me – the picture usually does.
So there you have my 4 point Cats Eye Blog Test. You won me at hello and keep me coming back for seconds and thirds.
Judy. I *love* this story and the way you told it. Love it!
I’ve noticed that my attention is often draw to the things that are wrong. Not just in others, but in myself. (Maybe even more so with myself.) And I’ve been really quiet online lately…reading and lurking, but not having much to say. Thanks for the timely reminder and great story.
This is such a fantastic story, lesson, and inspiration for changed attitudes online — and offline. It’s always easier to judge first and feel triumphant later, but it takes a stronger person to think, praise, and comment on another person. It’s so much fun to take the little bit of extra time and really notice someone’s presence, whether it’s a blog, on Twitter, or in real life. There’s nothing that makes me feel better about leaving a comment than when the blog owner responds with a thoughtful response and heartfelt thank you. Isn’t that what blogging’s all about?
@cjtreggett So, another one who understands the workings of the 6-year-old mind, huh? Welcome to the club. : )
Thanks for responding to the spirit of this post and mentioning @bgottsab . And for telling is precisely why you love her blog. Good job with that. Now we can all pop over to her blog and leave her some love.
@TammyRedmon Tammy, what an incredible comment you left here. Thank you for that.
So, the CatsEyeTest, huh? You have really thought this whole thing through, haven’t you? Those are four interesting criteria you have laid out. I think of all of them, #3, the storytelling, is what makes blogging the most fun for me.
Oh, and livefyre tells me that they are very close to launching their equivalent of Comment Luv, so you all will get those links to your most recent posts back.
Thanks for leaving such a thoughtful response, Tammy.
@PajamaPattyK I know. It was funny watching the struggle these first graders were going through when they knew the good would have to come before the bad. Some of them mastered it, but most just put hands in pockets, bowed their heads and walked away.
We adults are no different! I wrote a letter to the head of a hospital’s ER department when we lived in southern California. I had a traumatic injury to the head (a ceiling collapsed on me) and the nurses and doctors were so attentive (and with a sense of humor—they referred to me as Chicken Little) and just made me feel so safe and taken care of. Evidently that letter was so rare a thing that the head of ER wrote back and told me how much it meant, that he had shared it with his staff and hung it up in the staff room.
Yikes! Kind of sad that affirming another human being would be viewed as such an extraordinary thing.
Okay, Patty, here’s to less lurking and more talking. Noticed you have a new post. Heading over to read it.
@annedreshfield Boy, isn’t that the truth. I’m getting to love the process, finding one elegant detail in someone’s post to point out, one particular idea that spoke to me and why. And the more you practice it, the easier it gets.
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. : )
@JudyDunn You know…when I read the story, I expected that the kids *would* have figured it out. And that you would have been besieged by children running up and saying stuff like: “Bobby is really nice. But he just picked his nose.”
Great story about the ER (maybe another blog post, hint hint) – and so, so true. There’s an idea for a 30 day challenge: affirming one human being every day.
@PajamaPattyK Ha! Very perceptive of you. I was a taskmaster with these kids. They learned very early on that “Bobby is nice” doesn’t cut it. (It was when they were writing their letters to the birthday kid. They had to say WHY he is nice, WHAT specifically they like about him. So they got used to that.)
I really should put all my “First Grade Posts” together into a series or ebook or something. Hmmm. Not a bad idea. But, in case you missed that post (or someone else is interested), I described the excruciating process of getting a true compliment out of a first grader, with enough specifics so that person would feel special and loved. That post, “What We Can Learn About Commenting on Blogs from a First Grader,” is here:
http://catseyewriter.com/2010/02/13/what-we-can-learn-about-commenting-on-blogs-from-a-first-grader/
: )
I have been known to ‘freak out’ a young cashier at various grocery stores over the years lol. Once in a while I receive amazing service from someone who really does go above and beyond their peer group. I usually keep my face very neutral and ask to speak to the manager. With fear and trepidation, the young cashier obediently gets their boss over to us, when I say quite assertively, “I just wanted to report how wonderful this employee has made my shopping experience and I think you should give her/him a raise.” There have been times I’ve had to wait a few minutes but it’s ALWAYS worth seeing the surprise registered on their faces.
@PajamaPattyK @JudyDunn
@JudyDunn @cjtreggett @bgottsab Wow! I don’t even know what to say in regards to Carole’s wonderful “shout-out” except thank you so much for your glowing review of my photography blog. You are all welcome with open arms to stop by, poke around and say hello!
Of course, you are all familar by now with Carole’s work as she received a well-deserved spotlight in the recent “guest post” contest here at Cat’s Eye. You need to follow that link and check her out!
Judy – thanks so much for your wonderful story and the way it illustrated something so important within the blogging world. Prior to starting my own blog, I was a typical lurker – I read the works of others, was often moved, informed or educated but I never took the time to acknowledge a job well-done or the impact their words had upon me. It was partly shyness and partly a feeling that I didn’t have anything of value to add.
But now, of course, I realize how much comments really do mean. And I have made a concerted effort to “give-back” to those who have touched me through their creativity.
So, thank you for this mindful post. And for the “guest post” opportunity. I have made meaningful connections because of it.
@cjtreggett @PajamaPattyK Wonderful story there. It IS fun to watch the faces, which you can’t really do with a letter or blog comment. Wish this little action would catch on. I like Patty’s idea of affirming one human being a day for 30 days. : )
@bgottsab @cjtreggett Brenda, Will be checking your blog out soon. Glad you saw Carole’s mention.
I’ve been writing my blog for almost 5 years, and I’m absolutely delighted by the comments readers, kids as well as adults, have left that connect me with them and them with me. My readers even emailed me to speak more privately or ask me to send them one of the PowerPoints I created. I’m a special education teacher and teach high school kids who are academically at risk kids. I share my experiences in the classroom and what my students have taught me about teaching.
I love your story you use to make your point. I’ll have to remember the power of a story when I write my posts. Thanks Tammy for your suggestions/reminders about writing a blog that invites comments.
@emhartjes Great to see you here in the comments. You bring up a really good point. Some readers aren’t comfortable leaving a “public” comment. It is so gratifying to hear from one of them through a personal email message, isn’t it? Thanks for adding to the conversation!
I am subscribed to this blog and really enjoy reading it. I used to read people’s blogs and never comment until I realized that they would never know how many of us were out there taking advantage of whatever they had written for us. That didn’t seem fair. Then I started my own blog and suddenly realized how dumb I was to have not left comments since that’s what I want for myself. Live and learn.
A good blog about being possitive is Jamiemac.blogspot.com It’s worth checking out.
Thanks, Judy. I’ve only been a blogger since March of this year and while I do get comments, I also get the sense that there are many more “eyes” out there watching and reading, but staying silent (and my stats tell me I’m right). My own sister doesn’t want to comment under her name. “What do you think,” I’ve asked her, “that someone is going to track you down and stalk you if they see the name ‘Pat’??” Ah well, it’s her paranoid way. In any case, thanks for the great posts (and of course, this is the first time I’ve commented…). Keep ‘em coming! Kathleen Yasas, The Squeaky Pen, http://the-squeaky-pen.blogspot.com
Patricia,
Yes! You’ve been such a great reader and commenter. Maybe we can get something going here!
@kmyasas You made me laugh! My own brother is afraid that the government is watching him, so I totally get what you are saying.
Nice to hear from a fellow blogger!
Judy , what a great analogy you make between the playground scenario and good comments on a great blog post! I do try to comment on at least one or two blog posts I read a day. However, I rarely get comments on any of my blog posts which do take me time to research and write. My stats show lots of readers all over the globe. Every once in awhile someone will come out of the woodwork and perk up my spirits with some positive praise. Then I’m refueled for a few more posts. Thanks for reinforcing the idea of commenting. I love your blog!
Mary Habres, Making Your Home Sing, http://encorehomestagingredesign.blogspot.com
@EncoreHomeStaging Wow, thanks for the perceptive comment. Yes, your stats tell you that way more people are visiting than commenting. But those comments help us stay on track and i like the negative ones as much as the positive ones. They help me address readers’ needs. : )
Thanks for leaving a comment here.
I think that’s one of the benefits of the Facebook Like button. People may not want to take the time to write a comment, but they will click a button and give you a “thumbs up”. It’s a nice way of giving feedback, and everyone needs strokes.
Already tweeted and put on Facebook. I love this lesson. Thanks for introducing us to it. All of our interactions would benefit if we said what we liked more. Thank you. I really liked this post.
Thank you for sharing this, I strive to (and not always am successful of course) comment on posts I enjoy, offer suggestions or thoughts on those which challenge me and to share those which I think my friends or colleagues would appreciate, enjoy or feel good after reading. This is one which is going to be shared…thank you!
and I blog too, and appreciate the conversations and feedback from comments. I also enjoy the online friendships of my blogging friends, we have made some amazing connections! Shanyn the Scarred Seeker, Strawberry Roan and Mystic-Mom
Judy, I consider myself so lucky to have found you, lorigosselin ,@ericamallison @janetcallaway @MyLifeStyleMax and johnfalchetto . You are my psdo-spiritual-moral-ethics-professional-friends in this new world I find myself loving more and more.
I try to express myself in the best possible ways, because first my mother, and now all of you that inspire me to give more, share more, be more open and stand for myself and what I believe in….you Judy, and others, what you share and give the key to is courage.
Courage to do the right and good. Thanks for that and this. ~Amber-Lee
@girlygrizzly You’re too kind. We all learn from each other in this great new tool called social media
lorigosselin@ericamallison @janetcallaway @mylifestylemax
@johnfalchetto @girlygrizzly lorigosselin @janetcallaway @mylifestylemax@ericamallison Hi John! I’ve only been at the computer for a few minutes so far today and I’ve run into you at Erica’s and Amber at LFI! Small beautiful world!
Hi Judy,
I love your story and your solution! You must have been an amazing teacher! I’d love to hear more of your stories. (I am subscribed!)
Your message is a good one. For me this falls in after taking care of my blog, visiting the ones in my Reader and spending sometime with Hootsuite. Maybe I should move it to the top of the list. I guess I try to express my love in my comments. (I love THIS!) I’ll be thinking about this – showing some love – as I go into my day today.
Lori
Great post! Very funny and SO right! But you were very clever to point out that first you need to say something good before you move on to say something bad about a person. Actually this applies to anything at all. It works in every walks of life: politicians, artists, writers (especially writers)…
Great post. We all need to know somebody’s listening–sometimes I feel like I’m putting a message in a bottle and throwing it in the ocean. As to saying something nice before something bad, let’s drop the bad. I recently read that people don’t always remember what you say, but they always remember how they feel when they’re with you.
so show the love!
We’ve been doing that with our own children. Believe me, it works!
I really like the heart of your blog. It’s less about asking for comments and more about taking time to recognize and encourage those around you. Thanks.
@tamaralkelly.wa Thanks for the suggestion.
@vscook So true. It’s much easier to click that button and so that means you’ll get feedback of sorts from the people who aren’t comfortable with or don’t have the time to leave a comment. Good point.
@patricia-singleton Thanks for doing the social media share, Patricia. Much appreciated. Lessons in life are everywhere, aren’t they. And I love telling stories. : )
@mfacshan Sharing each other’s post is so important. Because it gets our content out to new people. Thanks for that. And thanks for leaving a comment. Hope you visit again soon. : )
@girlygrizzly lorigosselin johnfalchetto@ericamallison @janetcallaway @mylifestylemax Amber, I echo John’s sentiments. Maybe because I was an educator way back when, I really appreciate and value the learning that happens on blogs. And it’s two-way. My readers teach me so much! Thanks for being part of this community.
@Lori Thanks. Not sure about “amazing” teacher, but they were truly the most important years of my life.
I know how much you give to your own readers, how much you encourage them, so you really get this. Sometimes I think if we all chose just 3 blogs a day, not just to read but to leave a little comment love, too, wow, that could really make an impact. And, definitely, it’s an idea that works in our daily lives, too. : )
@claudenougat I knew I couldn’t just say “no tattling” and not replace that behavior with something else. Learned early on that “no hitting” didn’t give them anything to picture, anything to DO, so it was “we keep our hands to ourselves.” which they could visualize and do. Being a teacher taught me so many things about human behavior. : )
I was also hoping that the energy required to come up with a compliment would make them forget the bad thing.
Thanks for sharing here.
@sherman.barbara Bottle in the ocean? Yes, I’ve been there. When I started out, my husband (and biz partner) used to give me a bad time because I was always opening up my posts and looking for a new comment. He said he would then hear a short sigh and he knew.
I am quite over that now, but I really get it. : )
@BrookeWrites Wow, that’s great. Your kids are ahead of the game, then.
And thanks for that compliment. Means a lot to me. : )
Tweeted and loved. Great post!
@callagold Thanks, Calla. : )
Hello Judy,
I’d like to suggest a blog to visit that I have followed for some time, at first because it is written by a relative. Over the years I have grown to love the poignant yet biting humor that she views her world through. I appreciate the short evocative pieces that resonate long past the reading. The blog is on her site, http://www.lindabmyers.com. It was formerly known as http://www.fromthebacknine.com. She writes about life in a small northwest community, aging, writing, travel and whatever else seems to strike her fancy.
Thank you for your blog and for reaching out,
Donna
Judy, I agree completely. Recently, I challenged my readers that it was not enough to ‘like’, you need to express your own reactions and beliefs as well. It was after I viewed a youtube video, where all the 20-30 comments were negative, however the likes greatly out weighed the unlikes, something like 4,000 to 100. IIf we want to be a viable part of this on-line community, we need to be a part of the conversation. You can check out my post at: http://lyndieb.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-not-enough-to-like.html
@dleehello Donna, you are welcome. And thanks for pointing us in the direction of another good blog. : )
@lyndieb You bring up such a good point. It is somehow easier to speak up when we have something negative to say? Great example there. Thanks for sharing and for leaving a link to your own post.
It’s always nice when you get a random email from a blog subscriber that simply says thank you… How it’s exactly what they needed to hear today to get motivated into action.
I used to send short 30 second personal emails to new commentators to my blog (not so much anymore these days). It was a small personal touch that said thank you for taking the time. It worked well. We connected on a more personal level. Sometimes, we undermine how much those connections can mean. So reading this today is a fresh reminder that we should to that more often (reach out to connect).
@RicardoBueno I know. It’s very sweet to get those emails, isn’t it? I’m impressed that you found the time to email each new commenter. Wow. That’s great.
Thanks for sharing here, Ricardo. Always like it when you stop by. Oh, and by the way, my better half (@bobwp) wrote post at For Bloggers By Bloggers that you, being in social media marketing for realtors, might find interesting:
http://bestbloggingtipsonline.com/5-interior-design-tips-to-make-your-wordpress-blog-user-friendly/
Have a great day, Ricardo. : )
@JudyDunn @lyndieb This is such a good point. I know that I am often guilty of taking the “easy” way out. The world of “Like” buttons means that we don’t have to take the time to define what it is that we love about a post or a photograph. It takes time to formulate a thoughtful response. As a photographer, I would love to receive meaningful and helpful critique so that I could learn and improve.
Judy, A. I love your writing and the story you told to make this point. B. I wish I could hijack you and have you write this on my blog so all of my wonderful lurker readers would comment already. Maybe I’ll just share on a blog post what a great blog post you wrote and why I enjoyed it so much.
There is an etiquette lesson in what you write – not only the story about the kids – be nice to others – but also to be nice online; acknowledge and thank people. Let people know you appreciate them. That’s what etiquette is all about. So, thanks for spreading the kindness word.
This is why I love to follow your blog. You are so right here — the best thing about blogging, or about social media in general, is the conversation. And the conversation can only work if we’re . . . talking, contributing, putting ourselves into it.
As for my favorite blogs, I always find gems of humor and truth in the writing of Amanda Hoving at http://amandaswrinkledpages.com/
Tawna Fenske makes me laugh milk out of my nose at http://tawnafenske.blogspot.com/
And I can’t read enough of the lovely writing of Sarah Callender at http://sarahrcallender.wordpress.com/
@ArdenClise As always, I enjoy hearing your thoughts and thanks so much for the compliment. Coming from you, The ‘Queen of Etiquette,’ that means a lot. : )
What you do, Arden, is so needed in this world. Always love it when you stop by.
@flowerpotsun I sensed the first time you left a comment here that you share this philosophy. And it’s so like you to give other bloggers a shout out. Thanks for that.
I’ll be taking the suggestions from the comments and including them in a future post of new blogs we can explore. : )
@flowerpotsun Lisa – thanks so much for the wonderful links to outstanding writing. I must admit it was the “laughing milk out of my nose” that got me. I was in 6th grade when that last happened to me – I think it’s high time that it happened again.
And just so the rest of you know: you MUST check out Lisa’s own blog at http://lisaahn.com/ for writing that will awe you with its beauty and truth.
@bgottsab @flowerpotsun Thanks, Brenda. Adding Lisa’s blog to the list.
: )
@bgottsab Thanks Brenda! I always love the beauty of your photographs and artistic insights at http://www.gottgraphicsdesign.com/.
For my first time coming to your blog I have to say this was a really great blog post. The way that you described your first grade class was very unique. You are truly correct on the matter that we don’t take the time out to really stop and say thank you or lend a hand to those people that might need our help online. I really liked this post a lot.
@flowerpotsun Laughing milk out of your nose is priceless. You have a lovely way about you. Thank you for your conversationally excellent comment.
@Justicewordlaw Hey, Justice. Have enjoyed our conversations over at For Bloggers By Bloggers and delighted you stopped in here. Yeah, I think a classroom of first graders is a microcosm of society. Any lesson you could possibly want to learn about life is right there. : )
Thanks for the affirming comment.
Oh, and by the way. You are in Chicago, right? My other half, @bobwp, will be a speaker at WordCamp Chicago at the end of July. The conference is at DePaul University, Lincoln Park campus. Any tips you can share as a Chicagoite (Chicagoan?)? (Restaurants, transit system, etc.)
Will you be going? : )
@JudyDunn Yes I am in Chicago and since bobwp is going to be on the north side he could check out Sweetwater which is right off of michigan ave and also the hard rock hotel is right there. They have a lot of good hotels and such right off of the lake by Depaul and the red line is right there that he could bounce on that can take him right into downtown. I didn’t even hear of that even but most likely I will look into it and try and make my way down there now.
@Justicewordlaw bobwp Thanks! Much appreciated. : )
Oh, and if you do go, be sure to introduce yourself to @bobwp!
I’ll give the nod this week to http://soulati.com/blog and express my appreciation for Jayme. She made the extra effort this week and it is appreciated.
@TheJackB Good. Jayme goes on the list. Will be publishing these in an upcoming post. Thanks.
@callagold Thank you
We can all use a good laugh to brighten the day.
“We get busy. We read the post. We meant to comment, but we got distracted by the pinging of the messages in our inbox. Or the phone rang. Or we had to check Facebook one more time.”
Yup. *sigh*
Judy, thanks for this post. It made me chuckle. It made me think. It made me say, “Yes, exactly!” out loud.
There’s a quote I never quite get right, and I can’t find it anywhere online. But it goes something like this: “When we criticize someone, it says less about what they’re doing wrong and more about our need to be critical.”
Ouch?
I remember a creative writing class back in college. Our prof made us exchange manuscripts with each other and give feedback. Her first rule was: “When you’re giving feedback, list *everything* the writer does right and does well *before* you tell them what’s wrong with the manuscript. This is the secret and the golden rule of giving valuable feedback.”
That’s one of the best lessons I ever received. : )
@courtcan Hi Courtney! Nice ti get another visit from you. Great quote there. And on your creative writing class, we had that same rule in every writers’ critique group I’ve ever belonged to. The lesson does us well for all of life, doesn’t it. : )
This is an excellent way to go about writing as well as living. If you’re only pointing out people’s problems or things they do wrong, that negativity is infectious. It’s a lot better to try to say something nice first, even if you fail. If you fail, the negativity doesn’t get a chance to spread. Yet.
@ecnadac11 Thanks for the thoughtful comment. At first I thought this topic was too simple, but it’s just those that hit home, I guess. : )
Thanks for sharing here.
These really are great points that everyone should read. People are really not positive enough towards others in exactly the way you suggested, promotion for good content is something that’s hard to come by, and nothing shows this better than the UK tabloid The Daily Mail, which often publishes stories so controversial that they get more pageviews from disgusted people on twitter than actual readers.
@MattieTK Good point there, Mattie. Tabloids are famous for provocative, sensational, negatively skewed stories. Because they know what sells papers—gets them more eyeballs AND revenue.
That is also why recognizing the positive is so powerful. Because we don’t see that as often. Great example with The Daily Mail.
@JudyDunn Judy, that’s exactly right. So often, I am in situations in which I hear someone offering “constructive” criticism, and I think, “No! You’re doing it wrong. That’s not helping!” And then I have to remind myself that if I criticize the critic, I am doing it wrong, too! “Speak the truth in love” is so much more than an old aphorism!