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I confess. I’m a bit of a recluse. A hopeless blogger geek who spends most of her day clicking away at the keyboard, oblivious to the world. I don’t mind being alone. So it makes perfect sense that I live on an island.
I’m pretty sure I’ll never be a world-class speaker. Speech class in high school was for me the equivalent of Chinese water torture.
The fear started building one day in 5th grade when I gave my lame, over-rehearsed “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” talk to a group of rowdy, pre-hormonal 10-year-olds, including Stewart Granger, who sat in the front row and pretended to pick his nose every time I looked his way.
I had no sooner opened my mouth that day when my fidgeting fingers managed to send the erasers on the chalkboard ledge flying amid great white poofs of dust. I choked on my words—literally—and the classroom exploded, kids falling off their chairs, all of them laughing at me.
I was washed up, my speaking career irretrievably broken. And all at the age of 10.
Introverts in the Real World
I may still be an introvert but today, as a blogger, I see how important it is to get out there in the world. To tell my blog’s story. To give my best 5th grader’s speech, in front of the whole class.
If you are a blogger and you happen to be an introvert, you no doubt find solace and comfort in blogging and the whole social media thing. For me, Web 2.0 was the most noteworthy invention since Magnetic Scrabble. I could actually take my time, think first, then carefully compose an email or blog post or forum comment. It was really still one-way communication, though it felt two-way. Write. Click. Send. Repeat.
But last week I stepped out of my comfort zone. A reporter from the Boston Globe had read a post of mine, Here She Comes to Save the Day: Wanton Exclamation Point, and emailed me with a request for an interview in real time. He was writing a story about punctuation abuse and how social media, texting and email are making the problem worse.
Interviews, speaking engagements, appearances on radio shows, these can be challenging for introverts. Our brains work a little differently. We need time and space to interact in a way that values our thinking style. It’s why we aren’t fond of answering a phone call when it comes out of the blue.
We need time to listen and process.
But sometimes it’s hard to do that and keep up with the conversation. Here are some things I learned as I prepared for my interview.
The Introvert Blogger’s 5-Step Guide to Acing an Interview
1. Nail down the interview topic as specifically as you can.
If the interviewer has already prepared their questions, ask if you can get a copy beforehand so you can do some pre-interview thinking. With my recent interview on Andrea Hurst’s blog series, AUTHORNOMICS, I got a copy of the questions and was able to formulate thoughtful responses.
2. If you landed the interview because of a specific post you wrote, go back and review the content in it.
Obviously, something in that post caught the reporter’s eye. Jot down a few notes in case he asks you more questions about any of the content in it.
3. Make a brief outline with talking points.
Now you don’t always need to do this, but having sub-topics with a few key phrases under each can help you keep your thoughts organized— and even jump start your thinking.
4. Be specific, give lively examples and throw in a little humor if you can.
Our brains always remember the specific over the general. As my friend Kare Anderson, former reporter for The Wall Street Journal and Emmy-winning journalist for NBC, said in a blog post for The Harvard Business Review: “When asked how he managed to write such gripping horror novels, Stephen King once responded, ‘I cut out the boring stuff.’”
5. Brainstorm a few succinct, memorable quotes.
For introverts, sometimes the exact words you want don’t easily roll off the tongue, so give some thought to one or two lines that the reporter might just want to pull out and use for his article.
What about you?
Are you a spontaneous interview subject or do you plan ahead for the experience?
Do you think extroverts and introverts approach interviews differently?
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True story; 1st grade if you cleaned your plate every day at lunch you got a star. 5 in a row and you got a prize. I was cookin’ w/ gas until Friday…..little green peas……uh, oh. I got the brilliant idea that I would act like I’m eating them and then dump them one spoonful at a time under the table.
Diane Raulerson who was sitting next to me saw what I was doing; and knowing she had a ‘crush’ on me I asked her not to tell. She said ‘ok’.
Well, the teacher (Ms Swanson) walked behind us and she couldn’t get her hand up fast enough; “Billy is throwing his peas on the floor”. Yikes……..
When we got back to class the teacher called me up to the front of the room and said I had to face the class and tell them what I did. Double yikes……you could have started a fire with my face because I could tell it was burning red. After I mumbled “I threw my peas on the floor” twice, because I didn’t speak clearly enough the first time I was thinking this must be what the death penalty is like.
I guess it didn’t scar me too bad and I was always pretty shy all through school; but three years in the Army, a college degree and a job in sales certainly made it a lot easier for me to be an extrovert.
However, I certainly remember that ‘incident’ and how flushed I was that day. Whew……..
Bill Dorman recently posted..The big do-over, wiping the social slate clean
Haha. You ‘came out’ later in life as an extrovert. I love that.
People think that introvert and shy are the same thing, but that’s not necessarily so. Some introverts are shy but others are rather social. It has more to do with how our brains work, how we process information and what gives and takes energy from us.
Isn’t it amazing the things we remember when we have been humiliated as in your peas situation? Great story, Bill.
Judy Dunn recently posted..21 Things I Did to Get My Blog to Top 10 Status
You are so right; I’ve had several of my introverted friends remind me it does not equate to shyness; which I mistakenly thought went hand in hand. See, you still teach an old dog new tricks…….:)
Bill Dorman recently posted..The big do-over, wiping the social slate clean
Hi Judy,
Those are great points however I think you left out the most important point which is to be yourself.
I’d like to refer to a movie I recently watched to support my point so bare with me a moment.
The movie Game Change is about the selection of Sarah Palin as the Vice President nominee. The premise of the movie is about how political advisors tried to prep Palin by telling her what to say when interview questions were asked.
She failed miserably due to her lack of preparation but also because she was trying to be something she was not.
There’s a moment in the movie when she and her husband are talking and her husband gives her a pep talk. He told her to remember a debate she had during the campaign running for Alaska Governor. He told her she won that debate AND the election because of the way she spoke and not what she knew.
I think this is important no matter if you’re an introvert, extrovert or pervert.
Like in writing, use your voice and personality to shine. Being prepared is important but being true to who YOU are will take the fear out of being interviewed and make you look like a rock star in the process.
Just my 2 cents.
Cheers!
Michael
Michael,
I appreciate hearing your thoughts on this. Definitely, when one’s thoughts and ideas are shaped by someone else, as in the case of some political candidates, that person becomes a walking contradiction between what’s in their heart and what comes out of their mouth. Not good.
I think for introverts, it isn’t a case of trying to be someone else when we prepare for an interview. Often we just need time to think in order to dive deep into a topic. It’s a hard thing to explain to extroverts.
Reporters are famous for using ‘sound bites,’ (I was a reporter for 3 years) and memorable quotes because it makes their article much more interesting. So I would go so far as to say that even extroverts could benefit from thinking about a ‘sticky’ example or story that the a journalist could pull a line or two from.
I’ve heard a lot about that movie. I think it would be fascinating to watch. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
Judy Dunn recently posted..What’s Under Your Bed?: 10 Monster Blogging Fears Worth Chasing Down
A good reporter knows how to ask follow up questions that you don’t expect so they can get a real picture of who you are.
Now if it was me, I might have responded to every one of their questions with a movie quote or pop culture reference.
I am usually pretty fast on my feet, so I do pretty well with interviews.
Jack recently posted..The Best Bloggers Are Storytellers Part 2
Jack,
You are definitely showing the signs of an extrovert. : )
In my reporting days, I used to ask more questions if the person I was interviewing said something that was leading down an interesting path. So you are right there. And I always had way, way too much information to use, but I loved that because I had so many more options when I started writing the article.
I will say that it is different being on the other side of the interview. I found with short talking points, though, I was freer to do more of that “thinking on my feet” that you refer to. And movie and pop culture references? Absolutely makes what you have to say more interesting. Great point.
Judy Dunn recently posted..Can Google+ Pull More Readers to Your Blog?
I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome site!
Joann recently posted..What just happened??
Joann,
Thanks for asking. I get quite a few emails from bloggers who want to write a guest post but I’m working guest posters by invitation only right now. (I’ve only had a couple of guest bloggers.)
If I open it up to everyone, I’ll likely post guidelines on my blog so people know. I appreciate your interest.
Judy Dunn recently posted..21 Things I Did to Get My Blog to Top 10 Status
I prefer that I have time to prepare for an interview. This gives me a time to organize my thoughts so that the interview will go better.
Rusty,
I’m with you. I think it all boils down to the fact that people have different learning and thinking styles. Thanks for sharing.
Judy Dunn recently posted..When Blogging Is Seriously Hard
So, will your interview be available for us to access?
Melissa recently posted..Postcard from Venice
Melissa,
I hope so! It was tentatively scheduled to publish on May 3rd, in the online edition. I’ll try to keep up to speed on that so I can let people know. Thanks for asking.
Judy Dunn recently posted..Can Google+ Pull More Readers to Your Blog?
Oh good! I’ll look forward to it.
Hi Judy,
I agree with Michael about being yourself. The only point I’d add is to “amplify” yourself. Extroverts usually have no problem with this, other than they sometimes get carried away with the sound of their own voice. Some even believe that quantity compensates for quality.
I interviewed lots of candidates during my corporate years. The best candidates researched the role, found out about the company and then matched their skills to the job description. The ones who got the job brought their abilities to life with short, sharp stories oozing with evidence and hard facts.
I reckon this interview will just be the start for you. Fame beckons.
Steven recently posted..Does Your Website Smell Like a Skunk?
Steven,
Being myself has never been a problem and I totally agree with you on that. If there is any kind of problem it is that my true self is a slow, deliberate thinker. LOL.
I love what you say about research. I don’t think it makes us fakey. It just helps us get a handle on the person who is interviewing us. I love your “shorty, sharp stories oozing with evidence and hard facts.”
Humor and wit can go a long way, too. In Kare Anderson’s post in the Harvard Business Review that I left a link to in my post, she told a brief story about a Cuban who could not offer his guest anything to eat. He explained the consequences of Castro’s revolution this way” “The three successes were education, healthcare and sports. The three failures were breakfast, lunch and dinner.” I loved that.
Thanks for the kind words. Made me smile.
Judy Dunn recently posted..How to Get More Blog Traffic from Pinterest: The Power of Photos
Oh yeah,my inlaws ALL FREAKING EXTROVERTS.These peolpe have made my life a living hell. We go to visit maybe 3 times per year,can I be allowed to sit and read a book,maybe do a puzzle,go for a walk alone.NOOOOOOO I am dragged from one mindless event and function to another with the plans changing every few minutes,they arent happy unless they are doing something .I dared to separate myself from that pack of yapping hyenas ONCE ,my word you would think that I killed grandma,it was the end of the world,how dare I be myself. Then we have my SIL,shes a peach alright,she has a beautiful little girl being raised by babysitters because her social life means more to her than her own kid and this is somehow acceptable in society.Dont think so. Do I sound angry and bitter.I am .This is one introvert that has had it up to the eye ball with BS from extroverts.
As a fellow introvert blogger, I couldn’t agree more with this article. In fact, I recently wrote a post about introvert blogging and PR: http://bit.ly/IvG0Mo
Thanks for reading, Darcy. : )
Judy Dunn recently posted..Eight Powerful Ways to Build a Loyal Readership for Your Blog
Some of us are introverts with a performance side. I do better speaking in front of a group than I do talking informally with a small group I don’t know well.
Your list is perfect, Judy. And I love the comments. My process for speaking is to jot down notes. A few words is enough for me to launch off on a topic, but I get a lot of opportunities to speak, so the details usually appear just because they’re so engrained.
And I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen Andrea’s blog (I’ll remedy that, Andrea…). Judy, I wouldn’t miss a post of yours.
Deb Lund recently posted..How to Begin Writing: Quieting the Critics
Deb,
I know exactly what you are saying here. It was easier when I was teaching every day. But teaching was different because I had total control over my content. And I think that, in some ways, isolation breeds isolation. I need to get out more! I’m excited that Bob and I are going to the BlogWorld conference in New York City in June.
In the speaking arena, you are like Bob. He was out of his comfort zone at first but now he’s a real pro. It just takes doing it. A lot.
So glad to have you here at the Cat’s Eye blog, Deb. It’s an honor to have such an accomplished children’s book author. : )
Judy Dunn recently posted..What I Learned When I Visited the AUTHORNOMICS Blog
Judy, I am one of those cursed individuals that have the heart and sould of an introvert and the mouth of an extrovert. I love my alone time and secretly wished I could spend my life in a secluded cabin, or by the ocean, writing and creating worlds for the entertainment of millions (insert laugh) …
BUT … in school, in my career and now I have also been cursed with the desire to make people laugh. I love telling stories and watching someone’s face light up when I get to the punchline. I my career I had to participate in politial meetings, community boards, school boards, and like it or not I was expected to present a clear and mature presentation as to why our children needed public or private funds. So the curse of my love of talking (Libra) has been fun; and the true spirit of my solitary soul (Virgo) has given me the ability to focus on how to make those stories “readable.” It’s a bit schzoid but for me it works
florence fois recently posted..Networking Demystified-with Amy Atwell …
Leave it to you to be Combo Woman. : )
When they meet me in person, people often say, “You are an introvert? No way.” There is a misconception that introverts don’t like to talk. We do, but it’s a matter of where we get and spend our energy. Being alone re-energizes mr and an in-person networking event drains me so I have to be alone to recharge my batteries. And speaking? (I was a school principal so had to do the speaking thing at school board meetings, etc.) It takes the most out of me.
I’d say you have the best of both worlds there.
Judy Dunn recently posted..How to Get More Blog Traffic from Pinterest: The Power of Photos
Judy, great post and discussion. I find it so interesting that some readers seemed to equate being prepared with not leaving room to be yourself. In my experience, planning ahead frees me up to be more myself than if I went into it relatively blind. Your tips are all spot-on, and things I practice as well before an interview.
I’ve also found that preparation gives me extra confidence so that when things veer off-script, I can go with it. That’s been the case not only with public speaking gigs (someone’s always got to throw out a curve-ball question!), but with trainings and facilitation I’ve done. The key is being prepared and relaxed, not attached or rigid.
Practice is also key. Practice saying your talking points OUT LOUD, rather than just writing them down. And the more you practice and seek out opportunities to be interviewed, the easier it gets. I used to write out my answers in full sentences, but now I just make note of a few key points (esp. if there are sounds bites I want to remember) and trust myself that I won’t speak gibberish!
There are times when I’m on the other side of the table doing podcast interviews. I always send the questions in advance, ask if my guest has any feedback or questions, tell them that I will ask follow-up questions not on the list if they flow out of their answers, leave space for them to answer and not jump on their comments. I also make it more conversational, avoiding an interrogation-like tone. Those are all things that I appreciate as an introvert interviewee, so I follow them as an interviewer. The Golden Rule, you know?
Thanks for being a voice of strength and encouragement for the introvert contingent
Beth Buelow, ACC, The Introvert Entrepreneur recently posted..Quiet: The Power of Introverts with Susan Cain
Wow, Beth, we have an actual expert weighing in here. So honored that you dropped by.
I think you nailed it when you said that, for introverts, preparing gives us the confidence to answer additional questions with ease if they should come up. I’ve heard that practice out loud advice and it makes a lot of sense. Doing that makes you so familiar with your content that when it’s time for the speech or interview, you don’t sound so canned. Great point.
Thanks for sharing your pearls of wisdom. : )
Judy Dunn recently posted..21 Things I Did to Get My Blog to Top 10 Status
Great tips! I’m definitely a preparer. I gave similar tips to my beginning speech students years ago, and many of them were able to go from terrified to giving decent speeches. Even the outgoing ones needed to use these tips. I think even those who are more spontaneous would do well to follow these tips. I mean, if they are good with little to no preparation, imagine how outstanding they could be with them.
Kari,
Thanks for weighing in with your thoughts here. Everyone works differently but for me, preparing just puts me way more at ease. The editor I’m working on my book with suggested a short bulleted list. It worked really well.
Judy Dunn recently posted.. Here’s to the ‘Crazies’: 5 Insanely Easy Ways to Get Your Blog Post Noticed
You’re right, everyone is different. We all need to find what works for us and not compare it to others. At the same time, we need to get ideas from others. I like bulleted lists too. Seems like I have a variety of techniques I use to fit my ever-changing moods.
Kari Scare recently posted..How to… Spin an Effective Web
Great post coupled by great comments. I’ve had one interview and it went pretty well even if it was “live” and I had no preparation, maybe by chance.
I guess the main difference between introverts and extroverse lies in a different attitude. Extroverts being used to talk remaining cool are more at ease, or less taken by surprise, then introverts when having to talk or answer to questions. I mean sometimes it’s a matter of attitude but most of the times it’s a matter of being used to.
Talking in front of people for extroverts it’s easy because they do it routinely and in facts introverts if they do it long enough become good as well.
Everyone is good when he remains within his comfort zone.
Andrea Hypno recently posted..Use the Real Mediterranean Diet for a Healthy Weight
Hi, there.I’m an extrovert engeagd to an introvert. The funny thing about our relationship is that my fiance has many more friends and a much richer social life than I have. My fiance is older and more experienced than I am he’s very well traveled. That’s because he went to a very social college in another country, where he made friends by osmosis. Many of these friends followed him to the States, and they see each other fairly regularly. Though I like socializing, I’ve lived in isolating places. I simply haven’t got as many friends. The friends I do have I keep up with religiously, but he’s socially busier than I am.I know he’s an introvert because he tells me he much prefers to be alone. Whenever we’re together we avoid huge spaces, crowds and parties. I’m totally fine with that, though I need some socialization or else I get very lonely and depressed. I have long phone conversations with my friends, he hangs out with his independently ski trips, bowling, car rides, etc and we’re very happy together.
Haha. Yes, surprises are things that introverts don’t like very well.
The point of yours that I agree with most is the advice about practice. Introverts love solitude but it is that very solitude, if practiced to the extreme, that can affect our ease in social situations. I find, though, that when I force myself to be social (“No, I don’t WANna go!”) by the time the evening or event or experience is over I find that I’ve had a great time. Go figure. : )
Judy Dunn recently posted..What’s Under Your Bed?: 10 Monster Blogging Fears Worth Chasing Down
Hi Judy,
Job interviews terrify me. Maybe because I haven’t done a lot of them. Others say that it gets easier with frequency because they were more or less asked the same questions.
I’m thankful that I’ve found work online. I prefer to be behind and not in front. I’m also a slow thinker that’s why I prefer interviews that gives me time to think and formulate my answers.
I can’t ever imagine myself doing a live interview in front of a camera for all to see but you never know.
Theresa Torres recently posted..Ebooks Explosion
Yeah, we introverts are definitely out of our element in a live interview. A job interview is a perfect example, because you never know what question will be pitched to you. Another thing is that often we need time to think, so the silence between question and answer can make us a little uncomfortable. Great point, Theresa.
Judy Dunn recently posted..Eight Powerful Ways to Build a Loyal Readership for Your Blog
G’Day! Judy Dunn,
This question may be a little off-topic, My English teacher asked a question” What is the difference between an extrovert and an introvert. Can an extrovert fits with an introvert’?
Kindest Regards
Hi Malcolm,
I’m no expert, and there are differing definitions of introvert/extrovert, but, basically I think some of the traits of introverts are that they comfortable with less outside stimulation, they listen more than they talk, they get their energy from inside themselves and they like to dive into topics and think deeply (so they hate “small talk.”)
Extroverts on the other hand enjoy being around lots of people, usually (but not always) talk more than they listen, love sensory stimulation (sights, sounds, etc.) and have their energy renewed from being around others. Extroverts, I think, are rewarded more in a world that can’t stop talking. LOL
But we definitely need both in this world. And if we understand (and respect) each other’s differences, we get along great with each other. : )
Judy Dunn recently posted..What’s Under Your Bed?: 10 Monster Blogging Fears Worth Chasing Down
As an introvert who isn’t very social, the phone has always been my bane. But when I got older I took a job as a pharmacy technician–and I actually grew to love the phone at work. I was the main phone answerer, and customers began to ask to speak to me.
I realized I didn’t mind talking to perfect strangers–when I’d always hated calling the pizza guy–because I was well prepared with any information they might need (you know how it is, you call the pizza guy with your order written down, and people start shouting changes in your ear as soon as you get on the phone).
So when I started building a client base, and people inevitably wanted to speak to me on the phone, I built a questionnaire to help guide us both through the conversation.
All that to say: your tips work really well for introverts in just about any situation!
Shakirah Dawud recently posted..How To Stop Marketing To People-Like Substances
Haha. Calling the pizza guy. Now that can even be a challenge for EXTROverts. Everyone shouting at once, multiple topping changes. : )
Yeah, if the topic is known beforehand, a questionnaire can work well to keep both the client and service provider on track. Great point. I think one thing about the phone call is that introverts (and perfectionists) are worried that they will be pitched a question they can’t answer. But I’ve discovered that there is nothing wrong with saying,” I don’t know that answer to that, but I’ll do a little research and get back to you.” Thanks for weighing in here, Shakirah.
Judy Dunn recently posted..Eight Powerful Ways to Build a Loyal Readership for Your Blog
But I’ve discovered that there is nothing wrong with saying,” I don’t know that answer to that, but I’ll do a little research and get back to you.”
Oh, yes–very true!
Shakirah Dawud recently posted..How To Stop Marketing To People-Like Substances