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This line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet first squirreled its way into my brain in 10th grade English class.
But why does it take so long to learn it? And what does it really mean?
The full quote is:
“To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
For me, it goes way beyond the “be yourself,” “be authentic” advice.
For me, it’s about following my passion. About doing the thing in life my heart is telling me to do, regardless of whether the world sees my work as a commercial success. It’s about not sitting in an assisted living center wondering what would have happened if I had written that book that was my life’s dream.
Your heart will tell you if you just listen
This week, I had an interesting conversation with someone in the book publishing industry. This person told me that I shouldn’t write a memoir. That it won’t sell because I am not a celebrity. That I should consider writing it in some other format.
And I knew in my gut that this person was wrong. That I had to do this.
“There are people out there who tell you you can’t. What you’ve got to do is turn around and say, ‘Watch me.’”
To the kiddos in my elementary school classroom, I used to say, “Do the thing you didn’t think you could do” and “Figure out your own way to show me what you have learned.” That philosophy spilled over into every part of the classroom. For a social studies project, one student wrote a rap song, another created a short play with historical figures as the main characters. Someone else used mixed media to make a visual arts exhibit.
They did it their way.
If you are a remedial learner like me, it may take you a little longer to trust your gut and follow your “Heartsong.” In the animated movie Happy Feet, Mumble is a little penguin who can’t seem to find his Heartsong because he has a terrible singing voice. But what he has is a gift for dancing. In the end, he learns that that is his Heartsong.
And it is never too late to make the leap.
Sometimes we have a dream but life gets in the way
It isn’t always that we are a Leo the Late Bloomer. Sometimes life takes us on side trips that cause us to forget what our Heartsong is. For me, it was single parenthood and a 15-year teaching career that paid the mortgage and put food on the table.
For my daughter, it was time in Hollywood, pursuing her acting goals and waiting tables to survive. She returned to Seattle after the big earthquake in Northridge, California, went back, had some success on national television, then returned to Seattle again because she needed more security in her life.
Still, her Heartsong was calling her.
One day she called me. “I’m thinking about going back to college and getting a degree in theatre arts,” she said.
At the time, she had completed just one year of college. She continued waiting tables nights while she took classes at a community college in Seattle.
Then a wonderful thing happened.
She applied to several “Seven Sisters” schools, the top private women’s colleges in the east. She knew she couldn’t afford the tuition, but she turned in her application anyway.
Then the news came. She had been awarded a full scholarship to Smith College, admitted through a program for women of promise who had interrupted their college education earlier in their lives.
She will graduate this May, fewer than three months from today. And her proud parents will be there, cheering her for following her Heartsong.
Have you ever been discouraged from doing something your heart was telling you to do?
Did you have a dream but life got in the way?
Do you think we ever reach an age where it’s too late to pursue our life goal?
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First of all, you had me at the Shakespeare quote. My mother gave me this mantra early on in my life, and “this above all, to thine own self be true” has been the foundation and pillar of all I do in life. I’m grateful to have had it instilled in me from a tender age.
I believe you can do anything you set your mind and heart to do. I’ve had lots of naysayers in my life, but that’s never stopped me. And the people I work with? They are supported by me in every way to follow their dreams BUT to make them achievable dreams, taking a step in the right direction each and every day. Cheers! Kaarina
Kaarina Dillabough recently posted..Olivia’s Story: “May I Be Excused, My Brain is Full”
Kaarina,
Sounds like Mom had the right philosophy and lucky you to have it passed down like that.
I know what you mean about the naysayers. What happens with me is that they actually motivate me because they make me realize how important my goal is and how I won’t be deterred from it.
Okay, now I must move over to that post of yours with the intriguing headline. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
I never think it’s too late to pursue a dream! It may take a little longer at a certain age, but keep on keepin’ on…and it will happen! There is the issue of “timing”….sometimes I think it is “divine providence” that we don’t get what we think we want at the time. I have found, usually, dreams come true when it’s the “right time.” The key is to not give up, keep walking and dreaming, and maybe even waiting…seeking opportunities, but not being discouraged!
Love, love Leo The Late Bloomer!!
Thanks for an encouraging post this morning! And how nice of you to let us include our twitter site!!
Happy National Love Your Pet Day….
Kathryn Barker recently posted..Happy 1st Birthday Duke….Celebrate National Love Your Pet Day….
Kathyrn,
Agreed. I’ve been thinking about the timing thing a lot lately. I think, well, if I’d been able to start writing my books 20 years ago, think how far ahead I’d be today. But then I wouldn’t have all those life experiences and I don’t think my writing would be as deep.
And yeah, I used to read Leo the Late Bloomer to my first graders every year. Great book.
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..What I Learned On My 5-Day Social Media Diet
Dear Judy
This is a topic very close to my heart. My latest scribbling, as you know from our recent correspondence, is based exactly on this subject. Thanks for writing this article and sharing your thoughts. It does give encouragement to those of us who falter…
I haven’t made it over to your blog yet, but it sounds interesting.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you took something away from this post. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Why Am I Here?: Navel Gazing for Writers
Just the type of inspiration I needed to read today. THANKS! (and congratulations to your daughter!)
Linda,
Thanks for reading. And great to connect with you on Twitter, too. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Missing Pieces: The Social Media ‘A-ha Moment’
Firstly, can I say that I wish I had a teacher like you as a kid and secondly, I wish my kids had teachers like you now! Letting them do it their way…seriously, we need more teachers like that!
And this post is serendipitous for me. I have two avenues I could take right now. I have spent two years trying to do both and the result is that not much has been done on either. I have decided this year, I need to pick one and stick with it!
This post has reminded me to listen to my heart. So, thank you
Susannah recently posted..What’s on your spirit shelf?
Susannah,
I love it when that thing called synchronicity happens. I hear you on the choices thing. I have taken the fork in the road many times so far, but it seems like I always come back to my first love, writing. Could be, if you looked closely, that there might be a common element of some sort in both those options you have in front of you?
And, yes, kids literally grow wings when they are allowed to take some responsibility in their own learning. They are much, much more smart and creative than we sometimes give them credit for.
Thanks for visiting the blog. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
I wrote a poem wondering if I could be a non-bloomer. Congratulations to your daughter. You have a great message.
Sabra recently posted..Imaginary Friends
Sabra,
No one is a non-bloomer! We just all bloom at different times. It’s a grand journey, isn’t it? : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Why Am I Here?: Navel Gazing for Writers
Oh my. Too many questions, thoughts and answers to give!
1. Been discouraged from your heart song – yes. Too many times on reflection. As one who has constantly battled her right and left brain urges (and talents) – let’s see, I’ve been a corporate marketing high flyer and then a florist; a marketing consultant, a fitness teacher and yoga teacher; a sewer, knitter, miniature bear maker and a copywriter. My history looks like a patchwork quilt of reinventions that swing from the high achiever, challenge driven to the creative soul that plays. My heart has always told me to be creative and yet my rational voice manages to keep getting get heard. I am making progress though…
2. A dream that got away – yes. Fashion and textile design. Fear of not being good enough (for me) mangled that one. Settled for creating all my own clothes and playing with every craft imaginable as well as indulging my love of colour through being a florist and cosmetic marketer. Escaped me again for the last 12 years (youngest kid a demon with pins and needles) and have just carved out my own space for creation work – of the tactile nature rather than text. Happier.
3. Too late – up until a couple of years ago, I’d say yes. Now, no. I think there’s a time when a woman starts stepping back into herself and being her true form – making space for what she wants in this incarnation. The third act so to speak. That’s where I’m at. The turning point? Writing my hero’s (Dad) eulogy, after which (oddly enough given your headline) I had decided to be true to myself
Di Mace recently posted..Spellbinding words written to the farmer in us all
Di,
Leave it to you to add such interesting thoughts to the conversation. We really need to meet in person someday. I fear that we could spend hours talking about stuff.
So, you had an eye for fashion? You sound like a very visual person. I suspect you have take to Pinterest, right?
And I firmly believe: It is NEVER too late!
And eulogy, as in Dad died? I am so sorry. You know, I idolized my dad and I wrote his obituary but I was a mess, a pool of tears, and I couldn’t deliver the speech in person at the funeral. So my hat’s off to you on that.
Thanks for stopping by, my friend.
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
Yes, you’re right. I think we could spend hours nattering and sharing laughter and liquids. So…when are you and Bob coming downunder ?
Di Mace recently posted..Spellbinding words written to the farmer in us all
Haha. When we win the lottery. But you will be the first to know. Just to say, Australia has always been a dream of Bob’s. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted.. Guy Kawasaki Hits a Home Run with His New Book, ‘APE’
I have gotten sidetracked a few times but I think I have finally stumbled back onto the path I am meant to be on.
Josh recently posted..Four Flights
Josh,
Wow. Great to hear from you. And I hear you. Some of us take a meandering path on our way to our life dream. Glad you found the way. Will you leave the light on for me? (Or perhaps some breadcrumbs on the trail?) : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Missing Pieces: The Social Media ‘A-ha Moment’
As I was reading this I flashed back to the last time I asked for a little advice from someone regarding FB Promotion of my Friday Coffee Mug give-away. Their response, “It’s simply not a big enough deal to matter to anyone.” OUCH!
He may have been right, but still. . . OUCH!
I’ve changed my approach just a little bit over the years, but I still believe that if it’s YOUR idea, it deserves to see the light of day. The only thing for certain is that it will never amount to anything if it doesn’t.
As Joss Whedon said about Firefly-
“We choose what meaning to give these objects. A gun can be a stick, a ship can be a soul, and a TV show can be important, even if no one watches it.”
Mark recently posted..E-KNEE ME-KNEE MY-KNEE MOE
Mark,
I love your attitude. It’s like, okay, I’m going to put it out there. You can take it or leave it, but here it is. The market always decides, right? : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
It was kind of the underlying thought in a recent post called, “Hello. . . is this on?” where I attempted to explore the reasoning behind why we do the things we do. The reference to Firefly seemed to illustrate the overall tussle with purpose that we all encounter at some point along the path.
Do I sing for the audience response? Or, do I sing because there’s a song grafted to my soul that is screaming to breathe?
Mark recently posted..E-KNEE ME-KNEE MY-KNEE MOE
Okay, Mark. Now you are getting deep. : )
I think if we are honest with ourselves, we will admit that we sing for ourselves. If someone enters the room and listens, that’s fine. But we still sing.
Enjoying this conversation.
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Why Am I Here?: Navel Gazing for Writers
If ever we lose the joy of singing for ourselves, then it may be time to stop singing.
Thanks for the exchange Judy. Always enjoy your thought-provoking perspective.
Mark recently posted..E-KNEE ME-KNEE MY-KNEE MOE
Judy,
Your posts always pull me in. I don’t recall ever responding here before, but this time I had to. I’ve had a “mostly” great time all my life following different butterfly dreams. Now, that I’ll soon turn 62 it is even more fun because I’ve got 3 other people jumping into my dream and running right along with me.
And, what is even more fun is finding the time and inspiration to take up a few dreams I sat aside some time ago. Today, I board a plane for an 8 day trip to Thailand. The only “problem” with taking this first overseas trip is it is interrupting my now fulfilled childhood dream of taking performance dance lessons.
Also, when you and Di get together, I want to join you. I’ve been following Di for a while now and enjoy her posts too.
Yvonne Root recently posted..Do You Know the 3 Steps to Journal Your Way through Difficult Situations?
Yvonne,
Going to Thailand? That is so cool. Never visited but always wanted to.
When I was an educator, the mantra was “lifelong learning,” that it doesn’t stop just because you graduated from high school or college or graduate school. I hold you up as a perfect role model for that. Because most of us think that performance dancing is out of reach by the time we reach our 40s. I’m impressed. : )
And, yes, if I ever make it down there, and I do connect with Di, you are invited to join us!
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..What I Learned On My 5-Day Social Media Diet
Be sure and let me know when you decide to make the trip down under. Wouldn’t that be fun?!
Plane is boarding soon and I’m excited. I’ll be back another day.
Yvonne Root recently posted..Trim Tip 20
Hey Yvonne,
You have fun on that trip and we’ll catch you on the other side. Maybe you will even blog about the experience. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
Judya dn Yvonne….Now I’ve caught up with our travel plans, I think we need to mastermind a transcontinental heist that will fund a ’round-the-world’ sojourn of spirits
Di Mace recently posted..Let it rest before you cut
Just dropped into the email list as I await a google chat with the family this morning. We’ve been enjoying our ocean view from our balcony this morning. Gorgeous!
So when does our round-the-world sojourn of spirits begin?
Yvonne Root recently posted..Of Passion, Fried Eggs and Amusement Parks
Sounds lovely there, Yvonne. Di might be onto something there. A heist, or at the very least, a best-selling book, will fund my trip for our meeting of the minds. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
Better still, a heist and THEN write a bestselling book about the heist
(pennames of course)
Di Mace recently posted..Telling a story with your body heat
Now, now, Di. I knew you were a feisty one, but…
Kind of sounds like fun, though. You are going to get me into trouble one of these days. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
Judy, I love the story of your daughter and Smith College. Congrats to her — what an inspiration.
This line stuck out for me: “It’s about not sitting in an assisted living center wondering what would have happened if I had written that book that was my life’s dream.” My dad always says it’s better to regret the things you’ve done than the things you haven’t done. Wise man. I don’t think it’s ever too late.
Lisa Ahn recently posted..Wing-Feather Fables: Naiad Dreams
Lisa,
Yeah, when my daughter told me, the first thing I said was, “Would you excuse me for a minute? I’ll be right back. I have to do a couple of backflips.” (She knew how crushed I was when she dropped out of college after one year.)
I love, love, love the quote from your dad. He is indeed a wise man. Thanks for visiting the blog today. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Why Am I Here?: Navel Gazing for Writers
Judy, This is my first visit here and I LOVE your blog. You’re doing a great job and know that with Dan’s great teachings that you will be highly successful memoir writer.
FYI, my husband is actor, director, and writes plays as well. He knows the theatre disease well and at 73 can’t stay away from it. He’s both directing and rehearsing a role in another play right now. He’d urge your daughter on in a heartbeat!
Joan Z. Rough recently posted..Compassion And Being Enough
Joan,
Lovely to see you here and so glad we got a chance to connect in the Build Your Author Platform class.
So your husband is what my daughter calls (lovingly) a theatre geek, too, huh? Kellye is just totally immersed in theatre these days. Last year she got to attend the Edinburgh Fringe Festival as a Smith junior and this past year had one of the leads in “Moment,” a play by Irish playwright Dierdre Kinahan. It was exciting for Kel to appear in the first production of the play ever in the U.S. (It had been playing in London previous to that.) I can’t put words to all the amazing experiences she has had at Smith. Just an incredible university.
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Missing Pieces: The Social Media ‘A-ha Moment’
Judy,
My Mom is 87 and has waited most of her adult life to engage fully in her heartsong of writing. She raised four children, supported her parents through their senior years and then became a full time care-giver for my Dad for the 12 years after his first stroke until his passing in 2010.
Through all of that she never lost sight of her dream and while still caring for my Dad, she began to connect with her passion by allowing herself just 10 minutes a day to write before getting my him out of bed. Now she has her own website, preparing to publish a book, and is writing a weekly email column…it’s never too late!
I love your blog and this is my first time to comment. Thanks for sharing your insights and inviting others to the conversation!
Anna
Anna,
Wow, I think we’ve been following each other on various platforms for some time. Nice to see you here in the comments!
What an amazing story you told here. Makes me want to stand up and say, “Yes!”You must be so proud of her. Because she’s had many life experiences and a lot of time to contemplate things, I’ll bet her writing is rich and full of insights. Thanks for sharing!
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..On Writing, Christopher Walken and Finding Your ‘Wild Thing’
Judy,
I think you are right that we have been in over lapping communities for some time. I’ve taken some WordPress classes from Bob and been part of his and your FaceBook for, dare I say it, years now and am so happy to have connected with you more directly.
And you are right, I am extremely proud of my Mom and highly inspired by her to continue with my own passions (if you are interested in learning more about her, she is LaVerna J. Conrad and her website is her name.com). One of my goals this year is to move up from my stationary website to a real live blog! Then I can play more effectively with the big girls, lol! Thanks again for hosting a platform to converse and share!
Anna,
I definitely will check out your mom’s site. And good for you for taking the blogging plunge. It’s hard work, but also lots of fun—sometimes with unexpected payoffs. Keep me in the loop because I’d love to visit when your house is built. : )
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Missing Pieces: The Social Media ‘A-ha Moment’
Thanks for your support Judy!! After my book is published, the blog is next on the list. I’ll definitely let you know when its up. And now that the ice is broken I will chat here more often
Wow. A book for you? That is great! Keep us all up to date on that, okay?
Judy Lee Dunn recently posted..Missing Pieces: The Social Media ‘A-ha Moment’