relationship marketing

Stuff that Matters: A Blogger’s Creed

Stuff That Matters - A Bloggers Creed I threw out a question on Facebook this week that brought some very interesting responses. I asked, “ Do your values come into play as a blogger? As an entrepreneur, biz owner or author?”

What I really wanted to know was whether their values have ever played into a decision, either on what to post about on their blog, what partnerships to form or which clients to take on.

My friend, social media star and transplanted Scot Danny Brown said:

10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

By Judy Lee Dunn 39 Comments

10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

Of the many ways to get more traffic to your blog, commenting on other blogs, if done right, can be one of your best strategies. If you find blogs that share some of the same types of readers you’d like to attract, getting known on those blogs will help you promote your own.

You make an interesting observation, or add value with helpful advice, or have a unique take on the blogger’s topic and—bam—other readers will check out your blog and learn more about this fascinating person (that would be you, of course).

All good.

Except when it’s not.

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Blog as Marketing Tool Tagged With: blogging tips, commenting on blogs, relationship marketing

Is Writing with Vulnerability a Sign of Low Self-Concept?

By Judy Lee Dunn 56 Comments

sad baby When I was a teacher, one of the worst things a kid could have, the thing that would hold her back throughout life and beyond, was low self-concept.

It was whispered about children, as though they would never get any farther than flipping hamburgers at McDonald’s because they had, you know:

a low self-concept

Of course, as teachers, we did everything we could—praise, special recognition, a paper crown on their birthday, stapling their paintings front and center on the bulletin board—in a valiant effort to make them feel better about themselves.

So they would have improved self-esteem.

There was nothing wrong with that, of course. Kids need to grow up feeling good about themselves.

But in the adult world of the creative arts, I find that the best writers, bloggers, and plain old communicators, the ones whose stuff I can’t wait to read, have a certain vulnerability. They let me in close, tell me what they’re really feeling. They examine themselves, bare their hearts and souls.

Admit their humanness.

I love Mitch Joel’s quote in his post, The Power of Vulnerability:

The heart and soul of great art is the ability for the artist to be vulnerable.

If being vulnerable means taking off the armor and allowing yourself to be hurt, it also means being open enough to connect with people on deeper levels—to touch the heart and not just the head.

Contest Season: Could This Be the Year Your Blog Wins an Award?

By Judy Lee Dunn 5 Comments

dog with prize I have always loved contests. And while the random chance (will my name be picked?) ones are fun, the competitions that involve skill are my favorites.

When I owned my marketing business, Cat’s Eye Group, my most meaningful award ever was a special little one I got from a Chamber of Commerce in a mid-sized city outside Seattle.

It was the Business Committed to Kids Award. We were recognized for our volunteering in schools and pro bono design and copywriting work for education projects that were near and dear to our hearts.

So the awards don’t have to be huge national or global ones.

They just need to be what you are about. What means the most to you.

Building a Bloggers’ Community: What I Learned at Recess

By Judy Lee Dunn 77 Comments

support a blogger Have you ever been on a school playground with a bunch of first graders?

If you have, you probably noticed something right away.

Six-year-olds are social creatures but they have not yet learned to settle their differences without adult intervention.

I was a first grade teacher in one of my former lives.

There was a certain pattern of behavior at recess time. One kid would break a playground rule and another kid would run up and, with that acute sense of justice only 6-year-olds have, blow the whistle on him.

It happened over and over again.

And the line before me would grow longer as they waited for their turn to spill the dirt on someone.

About the third year of teaching (I was a reasonably patient person), this finger pointing started to get to me.

“Joey took my four-square ball away!”

“Grace pushed me off the climbing bars!”

“Jill cut in line!”

I started to dread it every time I was on playground duty.

I became the police. Writing tickets. Scolding kids. Letting them off with a warning if they promised not to do it again.

Recess was hell.

Until I got an idea

One day I came up with an ingenious rule.

It was brilliant.

I called my students over to the carpet for a ‘class talk’. They sat in a circle, cross-legged, curious looks on their faces.

“We have a new rule on the playground,” I said.

“Starting today, if you want to report something bad someone did at recess, that’s perfectly okay.”

I paused.

“But first, you have to say something good. Something you like about them.”

They nodded their heads solemnly. And they went back to their seats, back to our math lesson on place value.

Fast forward to the playground, the next day

The test came the very next day at morning recess. Josh was the first kid to run up to me, all red-faced. He looked at me, brows all furrowed, his mouth a hyphen.

“Nate hit me in the—”

“Wait,” I said. “Remember? I need to hear one good thing about Nate first.”

I smiled and thought, I have him now.

He looked across the playfield, then back at me.

“But—”

“Just one good thing. Then you can tell me the bad thing.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He frowned. We were knee deep in silence.

He looked down and scuffed the toes of his shoe on the pavement.

“Well…uh…Oh…” Another long pause as he turned things over in his mind.

He let out a big sigh.

“Never mind!”

And he ran back to the group of boys across the playground.

From that day on, the tide turned.

Why?

Because those first graders had discovered something. It’s easier to point out what someone is doing wrong than to see what they are doing right.

It is human nature to notice the bad in someone more often than we notice the good.

We are happy with the service at our local restaurant in 99 percent of our visits. Sometimes we are beyond happy.

Yet we never find the manager and say, “Our server was incredibly responsive to us. He delivered our meal exactly the way we ordered it. And he knew we didn’t have much time, so he made sure it was ready when we needed it.”

But that one time we are treated poorly?

Yeah, we want to talk about it, maybe complain to the owner. Or tell all our friends.

So what does this have to do with blogging?

Well, it’s just that many, many bloggers are writing beautiful posts, ones that educate us, engage us, entertain us. But they write in obscurity. And sometimes they wonder if it’s even worth it.

We consume their posts. We enjoy them.

But, like those first graders, we don’t take the time to recognize the good they are doing.

We get busy. We read the post. We meant to comment, but we got distracted by the pinging of the messages in our inbox. Or the phone rang. Or we had to check Facebook one more time.

So, what would happen if, out of the blue, we told them how much we appreciate them?

If we took the time to comment on their blog with a short remark about what we took away from their post?

Or sent them a personal email?

If we tweeted about it with a positive, concrete comment and a link to their post?

We just may make someone’s day.

What about you?

Do you ever get personal messages from your readers?

Do you have a favorite blog that could use some extra love this week?

Tell us who—and why. And, please, leave a link so we can visit and join the conversation there.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Community Building Tagged With: building community, commenting on blogs, relationship marketing, traffic building

The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Bloggers: It’s Not All About Content

By Judy Lee Dunn 54 Comments

good student Sometimes in the business of blogging, we are so focused on the craft, so hard at work on our content, that we forget certain things.

Important things.

Things—behaviors, really—that if practiced consistently, will move us from an average blogger to an outstanding one.

I’ve been watching bloggers for three years now. I’ve visited a few of my own readers’ blogs this past week in preparing to select my first guest blogger. I’ve watched bloggers on Twitter and Facebook. Revisited the comments they’ve left on my own blog,

It is what they do around and outside the actual act of blogging that takes them to that completely different level.

The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Bloggers

1. They are open to new learning.

They are sponges, always absorbing new ideas. They experiment (So what if this one post bombed? Look what I learned!). They ask questions and weigh answers—from other bloggers and from their readers.

And they don’t get offended when someone takes the time to make a suggestion for improvement. Because it just may make their blog better.

2. They read widely.

Some of the smartest bloggers I know have voracious appetites for books. They understand that reading across multiple genres opens up their minds, makes them think in different ways and helps them understand all kinds of people.

What could be better for priming the blogging well?

3. They recognize and promote other bloggers.

Many of the successful bloggers out there find ways to shine a spotlight on others. They share links to some of their posts on Twitter and Facebook. Give them increased visibility with a guest post. Comment on and support their blogs. Write posts like “5 Bloggers I Admire.”

4. They are inspired by the ordinary stuff of life.

They can take an ordinary observation, like seeing a woman driving a car with her dog in her lap, not seat-belted in—something that we’ve all seen— and apply that to a marketing lesson. Or find blogging lessons in an episode of Sex and the City.

They observe life—I mean, really watch— and find gems of wisdom and insight. Then they blog about it.

5. They admit their mistakes.

This can be a tough one to swallow. Sometimes a reader will catch you not following your own advice. (Happened once to me.)

How you react determines what you are made of. You can get all defensive in an oh-that-wasn’t-what-I-really-meant kind of way. Or you can say, “Yeah, boy. You’re right on that one. Thanks for calling me on that.” In the process, you either lose a reader or gain a fan.

Because honesty is in short supply these days.

6. They network with and find ways to recognize their readers.

Successful bloggers have a way of giving their readers a voice, too. Engaging them in the comments. Asking them to share resources and tips and giving them a link back to their blogs. Publicly recognizing a thoughtful comment they made on another blog that you both read. Even giving them an opportunity to write a post.

7. They don’t take themselves too seriously.

At BlogWorld last year, I was struck by a scene in the hallway outside the main conference room. There was a small knot in the center where a mini-crowd of 20-something women were gathered. They were focused on the person inside the circle.

As the circle opened up, I recognized the guy in the center as one of those social media “thought leaders.” (Man, do I hate that term.) He wore a t-shirt that said, “I’m kind of a big deal on Twitter.”

His groupies fan club appeared star struck. He seemed to be enjoying it. I’d say he was taking himself a little too seriously.

And then there are the other ones. The ones who don’t get freaked out when your eyes glance down at their name tag because, though they may be “famous,” you don’t recognize them by face. One such person saw me look at his name tag and held out his hand. It wasn’t until then that I knew who he was. And he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest that I needed an introduction.

The successful bloggers don’t focus on themselves, but, rather, on others. And they are even able to laugh at themselves from time to time.

What about you?

Aside from producing stellar content, what behaviors do you think successful bloggers have in common?

Did I leave something out?

Filed Under: Blogging Tagged With: better blogging, blogger, blogging, blogging tips, building community, relationship marketing

Blogging Is Writing Is Life: ‘Off-topic’ Bloggers

By Judy Lee Dunn 46 Comments

dad and daughter

The more I fiddle around with this blogging thing, the more I notice the differences among bloggers.

I subscribe to dozens of blogs. Some of them I skim through and others are must-reads.

But the ones I read most frequently have one thing in common.

They don’t just ace their content, take my breath away and make me think in different ways.

They let me see who they really are.

These bloggers are not afraid to say how they feel, to shake me up (sometimes) and to give me advice from their hearts. And they understand one thing:

Blogging is writing is life.

Bloggers who go ‘off-topic’

Bloggers are always told to stay within their niche, to stay on topic and on message. And that’s good advice.

Except that when they do stray from their topic, even write an emotional post, that is precisely when I connect with them—and on a much deeper level. Because they have let me inside.

My father died last week.

I might have swept that fact under the rug. Gone on as usual. Written something like 5 Ways to Get the Guest Post Assignment of Your Dreams.

But then one of my favorite bloggers, Danny Brown, published a post on March 19, the day after my dad’s funeral. It was called Precious Time.

He shared a painful part of his past and a story about… Well, you’ll just have to go and read it.

Danny is an amazing social media leader, blogger, online marketing expert. And yet he was talking about life and love and loss.

And many, many readers could relate to it. Many of them related their own personal stories. And almost every single one of them thanked him for writing the post.

My father died last week.

I loved him deeply.

He taught me how to tell stories—the rhythm, the suspense, the humor.

He taught me how to dive.

When he came home from work, and all he wanted to do was take his cement dust-caked, high-top work boots off and settle into his olive green recliner, he was still patient with the “12 Degrees of Why” questions my curious, 7-year-old self had.

And he taught me lessons in entrepreneurship.

I will miss him every single day of my life. But that’s the stuff that life is made of. The stuff that binds us together, connects us, makes us human.

So I second the things Danny said in his post. Tell the people you love that you love them. And do it often.

Because you never know.

What about you?

Do you ever blog ‘off-topic’?

Do you stick around when other bloggers do?

Do you enjoy getting to know their personal side better?

Filed Under: Blogging, Community Building Tagged With: better blogging, blogging tips, building community, emotion-based marketing, relationship marketing

The Art of Turning A Negative Comment Into A Positive

By Judy Lee Dunn 37 Comments

boy crying

Welcome to another edition of Top 10 Tuesday, a semi-regular series introducing you to some of the finest bloggers around, my fellow winners of a Top 10 Blogs for Writers award.

This week, meet Ollin Morales from Courage 2 Create. At his blog, Ollin chronicles his journey as he writes his first novel.

Take it away, Ollin:

When you’re a blogger, you can’t help escape the fact that no matter how great your content is, no matter how good of a person you are, and no matter how noble your intentions can be, sooner or later you are going to rub someone the wrong way—and that someone is going to come to your blog and slap you with a negative comment.

That’s why it’s important that you learn how to deal with a negative comment in a productive, positive way, or else you might risk letting that comment become one of the biggest downers of your week.

The Difference Between A Constructive Comment and A Negative Comment

It’s important to point out the difference between what I am going to call a “constructive” comment (which is always a good thing) and what I’m going to call a “negative” comment (which is never a good thing).

A constructive comment may illustrate a point of disagreement reached through the use of logic and reason; it can call you out for a factual mistake you have made; or it can seek to elaborate a point that your reader feels might be misunderstood.

On the other hand, a “negative” comment is just that: a shot of negativity thrown your way that often times has no rhyme or reason behind it.

A negative comment is filled with a toxic energy that you can almost feel coming at you from behind the words.

Whereas the intention of a “constructive” comment is to enlighten and improve, the intention of a “negative” comment is to confuse, throw you off balance and—sometimes—tear you down.

How to Turn A Negative Comment Into A Positive

So, you’ve received a negative comment. Congratulations! You’re a real blogger now.

But, you wonder, how can I turn this negative comment into a positive? Here’s how:

1. Reflect Your Best Self

Don’t forget: everyone is watching you.

When you’re a blogger you have to remember that your discussion is not happening in a secret cave in the middle of nowhere.

No, it’s more like your discussion is happening in one of those police interrogation rooms where there’s just you, the negative commenter, and a one-sided mirror on the opposite wall. You know that there are a lot of people on the other side of that mirror watching and listening to everything you say—you just don’t know exactly WHO is listening at any given time.

For instance, you don’t know whether the guy on the other side of that one-sided mirror is just a rookie, or the Police Chief himself.

Why take a risk, then?

Here’s what you should do:

Even if it may not be true, assume that your boss—or your next boss—is reading your blog and seeing how you handle this negative commenter.

Then act the way you would act if your boss were on the other side of that mirror, watching your every move.

2. Try To See It From Their Point of View

I know this is hard, especially when you are being unfairly attacked, but—I hate to break it to you—this is part of being a professional blogger.

You need to try to see the issue from the commenter’s point of view. Even if it is a stretch, still, try to find a point of mutual understanding.

3. Act Quickly

If you find ANY reason why your negative commenter has a point, then you should address the issue right away. Then, after you have addressed the issue, let the commenter know, and apologize for the misunderstanding or mistake.

This move should cool things off enough for the commenter to back down.

However, if after you corrected the mistake, your commenter continues to attack you, then maybe it’s time to take the discussion “outside” of the blog.

4. Take It “Outside”

If you have made contact with this negative commenter outside of your blog (i.e., e-mail) you should ask to hold a private conversation with them outside of the blog.

At this point, you are no longer in an interrogation room, so you can relax, but you should still remain professional.

First, tell them how their negative comment has affected you.

Although they may not want to see things from your point of view, you have every right to let the commenter know that their negative comment has hurt you.

If you feel hurt then there is no need to doubt that the commenter has said something to hurt you. You have every right to voice your feelings and demand to be treated with fairness. You can say something like:

“Maybe you didn’t mean to hurt me, but what you said made me feel THIS WAY, and I didn’t appreciate it.”

This gives the negative commenter one final chance to recognize the wrong they have committed and ask you for your forgiveness.

If they recognize their wrong and apologize, then it turns out this was just a small blip in the relationship. Maybe the commenter was just having a terrible day and took it out on you without thinking about it.

If, however, your negative commenter stubbornly refuses to see that they have done anything wrong, then I’m afraid it’s time for the both of you to go your separate ways.

5. Go Your Separate Ways

Although it might not feel like it, you have done an EXCELLENT job of dealing with the negative commenter. You have managed to keep your moral high ground, covered all your bases professionally, and also asserted your right to be treated fairly.

Unfortunately, it is now clear that this person is NOT a commenter you want to have around anymore.

You’re a good person who works hard and you don’t deserve to be met with negativity on you blog.

It’s time to halt all communication with the negative commenter, put them on all your blacklists, and move on.

You might even go as far as moderating your comments from now on, like I have done.

6. Shine Brighter Than Before

As I said before, the negative commenter’s ultimate goal is to throw you off balance. So, if you allow them to topple you then you are letting them win.

DON’T let them win.

Show your negative commenter that they haven’t achieved their aim by making a big move–in a positive direction.

Take that big step to finally monetize your blog, or offer new and better services to your readers. You can make a new goal to double the amount of guest posts you write, or take a risk by reaching out to those big players in your niche.

Then, as you grow and become wildly successful because of your new efforts, you’ll smile inside knowing that some big bad villain at their laptop somewhere is crying because their diabolical plan to ruin you and all the good you stand for has failed—big time.

At that point you could pat yourself on the back.

Congratulations! You have successfully turned that negative comment into a HUGE positive.

much love,

Ollin

Have you ever received a negative comment from someone?

How did you handle it?

Filed Under: Blogging, Community Building Tagged With: better blogging, blogging, blogging tips, building community, commenting on blogs, relationship marketing

Stuff that Matters: A Blogger’s Creed

10 Reasons No One Notices Your Blog Comment

Is Writing with Vulnerability a Sign of Low Self-Concept?

Contest Season: Could This Be the Year Your Blog Wins an Award?